Writing
I sometimes forget how much writing could help a person like me. Sometimes we are stuck in our own thoughts while we are listening to something or while working on a completely different project, we forget the time to be a whole person. I might sound insane, but hear me out. I have constantly had this two stage process of communication. Stage one involves thinking about the things I want to say and/or express, stage two is about actually expressing my intention.
I have realized in our overly structured world, there is no room for an individual person anymore, attention just like any other commodity has found a way to be more productive by splitting you often into more than two selves, and free writing such as this article forces me to act as one. The one who thinks on a medium, rather than thinking about what should go on a medium.
In fact as I write this document, my thoughts jump around, and I am not sure whether I am forming any cohesive sentences, may be I am… may be I am not… this should not matter at this moment, because what ever I write is what I think about at this very moment.
I think I have been conditioned to think this way (the two stage process) due to my bilingual nature, where I am not confident in any of the three languages I can express thought in, especially due to their grammar. But recently I have been noticing the disconnect, that the me who is being expressed is a curated version of myself, in every written media of mine.
I find it funny, because in a more philosophical sense, aren’t everyone on the same boat? either socially when interacting with the world, or when just communicating with others. Nevertheless I can at least tell myself I was one and a whole at least during this moment of writing.
with love, tux